Choosing friends at school is one of the most significant factors influencing the growth and character formation of children aged 7 to 12. During this age range, children learn social skills, moral values, and how to interact with their peers. School friends can boost self-esteem, enhance communication skills, and motivate academic achievement, but there can also be negative influences. In this article, we explore the positive and negative aspects of choosing friends at school and provide strategies for parents and teachers to guide children toward healthy, suitable friendships.
Development of Social Skills
Between the ages of 7 and 12, children gradually learn how to communicate with their classmates—skills such as cooperation, turn-taking, problem-solving, and negotiation. When a child has friends who exhibit these positive behaviors, there is a higher likelihood that the child will model and adopt them. Interacting with appropriate friends helps the child participate easily in small group activities, share group responsibilities, and thus develop a sense of social belonging.
Impact on Motivation and Academic Achievement
School friends can influence a child’s academic motivation. If a child’s peer group values studying and completing homework, the child’s chances of succeeding academically and developing an interest in school increase. Conversely, if a child’s friends are indifferent to school and academics, they may negatively affect the child’s attitude and behavior. Studies have shown that children with friends active in extracurricular activities tend to perform better in school and are less prone to academic decline.
Influence on Self-Esteem
Friends who encourage and support a child during difficult times boost the child’s sense of worth and self-confidence. In contrast, friends who tease or ridicule can harm a child’s self-esteem and even lead to social anxiety. Therefore, it is crucial to identify positive friends and minimize relationships with peers who have a negative impact.
Risks of Choosing Inappropriate Friends
Selecting mismatched or problematic friends can have adverse consequences:
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Risky Behaviors: Children who associate with friends inclined toward risky behaviors (such as lying, cheating on exams, or fighting) are more likely to engage in similar conduct.
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Academic Decline: If the child’s peer group is not interested in studies, it may lead to diminishing motivation and lower grades.
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Communication Problems: Unhealthy relationships can cause communication difficulties and social isolation, leaving the child feeling like they don’t belong or can’t get along with others.
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Mental Health Issues: Negative peer influence can be a precursor to anxiety, depression, or low mood in the child.
The Role of Parents and Teachers in Guiding Friend Selection
Parents and teachers play a crucial role in steering children toward choosing suitable friends. The following strategies can be effective:
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Balanced Supervision: Observe the child’s social interactions without being overly controlling. Ask about their friends and recognize each friend’s positive and negative traits.
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Encourage Participation in Healthy Group Activities: Sports, arts, or academic clubs provide opportunities to meet and bond with positive peers.
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Strengthen Decision-Making Skills: Help the child establish criteria for choosing friends, such as honesty, kindness, and cooperation.
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Maintain Open and Honest Communication: Create a safe environment where the child feels comfortable sharing concerns and feelings. This openness enables parents and teachers to offer better guidance.
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Model Healthy Relationships: Parents and teachers should demonstrate positive social interactions, displaying kindness, honesty, and respect in their own relationships.
Conclusion
Friendship at school is one of the most critical factors impacting the social, emotional, and academic development of children aged 7 to 12. Choosing appropriate friends can strengthen social skills, boost academic motivation, and enhance self-esteem, while unhealthy friendships may pose serious risks to the child’s mental health and school performance. Parents and teachers, through balanced supervision, decision-making support, open communication, and encouragement of healthy group activities, can play an essential role in guiding children toward selecting suitable friends.
